The Thankful Project: Day 13 - An Ability

This was a tough one for me.  I struggled and even Googled abilities that others were thankful for.  Many were thankful for the ability to run, walk, the ability to see, the ability to taste. None of those jumped out at me.  Although I am thankful for all of the above, I’m most thankful for my ability to feel and to feel deeply.
I work at a hospital.  I see miracles, but I also see the sadness that sickness can bring.  I talk to the patients.  I talk to their families.  I learn about their lives.  I listen to their stories and I feel.  I feel deeply.

One patient vividly sticks out in my memory.  She was an older lady who had been on and off of our unit a few times throughout the course of the year.  I had spoken to her on previous visits so we knew each other.
This particular visit was extra hard for her.  Her daughter, who was in her 30’s, died suddenly.  She was in the hospital and very ill, so the doctors would not allow her to leave for the funeral.  She was heart-broken.  I was heart-broken for her.  I can’t imagine losing a child.  I can’t imagine not being able to be there for the funeral.    She just kept saying that she felt like she didn’t have closure.  My heart hurt for her.

I am big at thinking outside of the box.  Although our hospital didn’t have anything in place to help, like a computer or I-Pad, I did.  I reached out to the patient’s other daughter and voiced how I would like to help.  I said that we could Skype with my phone so that she could be a part of the funeral.  She needed that closure.  The daughter was blown away that someone wanted to help in that way.

I gave the daughter my cell phone number. She was going to check to see who had a way to Skype with me.  The next day, the Church’s pastor called me.  He had an I-pad that he was going to let a family member use for the service. Prayers had been answered.

The next morning, I knocked on the patient’s door and went in.  I informed her of what we were able to work out and called the pastor.  Everything worked perfectly and the patient was able to be a part of her daughter’s funeral.   I asked if she wanted me to leave, so that she could be alone.  I wasn’t sure if it was too personal for a stranger to be there with her.  She grabbed my hand, smiled at me and said…you are my only family I have.  Please stay.

I sat with her for an hour.  I held her hand the entire time.  She cried and I cried.  I didn’t know her daughter, but I cried.  I felt the pain that she was feeling - the pain of losing a loved one, of being trapped at a hospital, a feeling of helplessness.

I haven‘t seen the patient since, but I think of her often.  I wonder how she is doing.  I wonder if she remembers that moment. It’s a moment that I will never forget.

I am thankful for the ability to feel deeply.  It allows me to connect with others.  It compels me to action.  It helps me empathize.   It’s something that I’m so thankful for!

What's an ability that you’re thankful for?

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.
Be sure to stop by and check it out!

An Officer's Wife

For those of you who know me and for those of you just getting to know me, you probably already know that I am a wife.  I am not just any wife though - I am a police officer's wife.
Today, I write with a heavy heart.  While my family is spending time together and my husband is safe, a local police officer's wife can not say the same thing.  Today, she buries her husband.  Her world has been turned upside down.  Her life forever changed.  Her two children, left without a father.
I do not know this woman, but I am heart-broken for her.  Since her husband was killed in the line of duty this past Wednesday, I have thought about her often.  I don't know if it's because Brian has been out-of-town this week and I see how incredibly hard it is to do this on your own or if it's just because I see life and family that much differently now that I'm a mother.  Whatever the reason, I have thought of this officer's wife often and have said prayers of peace for her.  I just can't even imagine what she is going through.
It's my worst fear.  As an officer's wife, I worry every time he leaves for work.  I work hard to not let it consume my thoughts.  I know that his job is inherently dangerous, but I trust that he has been trained and knows how to be as safe a possible.
Yet some days, such as today, I can't get the thought out of my mind.
What if that were my family?  
What if I was the one notified that I had lost my husband and my best friend?
What would I do?
Who would I call first?  
Would I even be able to function?  
I tear up just thinking about it. As a police officer's wife, I pray that I never have to experience that, but each time Brian leaves for work, I know he's putting his life on the line.
I understand that no one lives forever, but the next time that you are cursing the police officer who just wrote you a ticket or disseminating your opinion about how wrong police officers are, remember that they are the ones who leave their families each and every day to protect your family.   They leave behind families of their own and, if asked, would pay the ultimate sacrifice.
So today, at some point, say a prayer.  A prayer for the fallen officer's wife, that she may find the strength to carry on, for all of the officer's that are burying one of their own, and for all police who protect and serve.
May they remain safe.