The Thankful Project: Day 11 - Something You Were Taught

I've been taught a lot throughout my life.  I've learned things from school. I've learned things from family and friends.  I've learned from my own failures and experiences.  Above all else, the most important thing I've learned was a lesson that was taught to me by my parents.  I learned this lesson through their behaviors and actions, and not the path they chose.
I had a happy childhood, but not necessarily an easy one.  My parents divorced when I was five years old.  Throughout the years, I watched them fight.  Even when they were separated and divorced, I listened to them fight.  I listened to what they said about one another.  I listened to the messages that they asked me to relay.

Then something funny happened.  As I grew older, I began to realize truths.  I learned when Mom was wrong and when Dad was wrong.  I learned to decipher the messages I was hearing with the truth that I was seeing.  I also developed my own voice.  A voice that often spoke up and said, “You can relay that. I’m not being the middle man or the messenger”.  I developed a voice that learned to answer, “I don’t know” - even if I did.  I just knew the answer would upset the other parent.

Besides developing my voice and learning the true meanings behind actions, I learned a much more important lesson.  It’s a profound message.  Here it is:

Marriage takes work.

When you start dating and get engaged, you feel still believe that life is a fairy tale and once you are married that there won’t be hard times.   Let me tell you…there are going to be changes, hard times, failures, and hiccups.  You grow together and you grow as individuals. Life happens. Love evolves. You face challenges and obstacles.  Priorities shift. Your love changes.  You change.  Your marriage suffers.   Something that you should be putting time and effort in to daily can sometimes go by the wayside.  It happens.

The good news – with a little work and refocusing, you can get it back on track.  You are reminded that you get from a marriage what you put in to it.  You reap the rewards of this.  Your marriage becomes stronger.  You remember how important this relationship is to you and you vow to stop taking one another for granted.

Chances are, life will get in the way again.  It will happen.  Guaranteed.  You remember what’s important. You shift priorities and you refocus again

It’s a constant push and pull.  A dance.  A search for balance.

The true lesson in this is that no matter how hard the push or how hard the pull, I refuse to give up on my marriage.  I refuse to walk away.  I refuse to become the statistic that says that 50% of all children from a divorced family will end up divorced themselves.

Maybe it’s because of the lesson I learned, but I fight harder.  What I've got is too good. It’s just that simple.

Marriage takes work and I refuse to give up.  Ever.

Thanks for the lesson Mom and Dad.   

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.
Be sure to stop by and check it out!

An Officer's Wife

For those of you who know me and for those of you just getting to know me, you probably already know that I am a wife.  I am not just any wife though - I am a police officer's wife.
Today, I write with a heavy heart.  While my family is spending time together and my husband is safe, a local police officer's wife can not say the same thing.  Today, she buries her husband.  Her world has been turned upside down.  Her life forever changed.  Her two children, left without a father.
I do not know this woman, but I am heart-broken for her.  Since her husband was killed in the line of duty this past Wednesday, I have thought about her often.  I don't know if it's because Brian has been out-of-town this week and I see how incredibly hard it is to do this on your own or if it's just because I see life and family that much differently now that I'm a mother.  Whatever the reason, I have thought of this officer's wife often and have said prayers of peace for her.  I just can't even imagine what she is going through.
It's my worst fear.  As an officer's wife, I worry every time he leaves for work.  I work hard to not let it consume my thoughts.  I know that his job is inherently dangerous, but I trust that he has been trained and knows how to be as safe a possible.
Yet some days, such as today, I can't get the thought out of my mind.
What if that were my family?  
What if I was the one notified that I had lost my husband and my best friend?
What would I do?
Who would I call first?  
Would I even be able to function?  
I tear up just thinking about it. As a police officer's wife, I pray that I never have to experience that, but each time Brian leaves for work, I know he's putting his life on the line.
I understand that no one lives forever, but the next time that you are cursing the police officer who just wrote you a ticket or disseminating your opinion about how wrong police officers are, remember that they are the ones who leave their families each and every day to protect your family.   They leave behind families of their own and, if asked, would pay the ultimate sacrifice.
So today, at some point, say a prayer.  A prayer for the fallen officer's wife, that she may find the strength to carry on, for all of the officer's that are burying one of their own, and for all police who protect and serve.
May they remain safe.