An Officer's Wife

For those of you who know me and for those of you just getting to know me, you probably already know that I am a wife.  I am not just any wife though - I am a police officer's wife.
Today, I write with a heavy heart.  While my family is spending time together and my husband is safe, a local police officer's wife can not say the same thing.  Today, she buries her husband.  Her world has been turned upside down.  Her life forever changed.  Her two children, left without a father.
I do not know this woman, but I am heart-broken for her.  Since her husband was killed in the line of duty this past Wednesday, I have thought about her often.  I don't know if it's because Brian has been out-of-town this week and I see how incredibly hard it is to do this on your own or if it's just because I see life and family that much differently now that I'm a mother.  Whatever the reason, I have thought of this officer's wife often and have said prayers of peace for her.  I just can't even imagine what she is going through.
It's my worst fear.  As an officer's wife, I worry every time he leaves for work.  I work hard to not let it consume my thoughts.  I know that his job is inherently dangerous, but I trust that he has been trained and knows how to be as safe a possible.
Yet some days, such as today, I can't get the thought out of my mind.
What if that were my family?  
What if I was the one notified that I had lost my husband and my best friend?
What would I do?
Who would I call first?  
Would I even be able to function?  
I tear up just thinking about it. As a police officer's wife, I pray that I never have to experience that, but each time Brian leaves for work, I know he's putting his life on the line.
I understand that no one lives forever, but the next time that you are cursing the police officer who just wrote you a ticket or disseminating your opinion about how wrong police officers are, remember that they are the ones who leave their families each and every day to protect your family.   They leave behind families of their own and, if asked, would pay the ultimate sacrifice.
So today, at some point, say a prayer.  A prayer for the fallen officer's wife, that she may find the strength to carry on, for all of the officer's that are burying one of their own, and for all police who protect and serve.
May they remain safe.

5 on Friday

One.
I miss my husband!  He's been out-of-town for the week and I am going crazy!  Not because I can't handle McKenzie, but because I miss him.  I miss us.  The house feels empty without him.  It's just not the same.  I absolutely can't wait for him to get home!

Two.

I am stronger than I realize! McKenzie and I spend lots of time together with just the two of us, due to Brian's schedule.  I never doubted that I could handle this week, but yet I did.  When I've done it in the past, Brian has only been a phone call away.  I always had a safety  net.  This week made me nervous because I don't have him nearby.  He's not even in a nearby state!  I managed though. Seriously though, how could you not love this kid?!

Three.
I am so looking forward to the long weekend!  It's going to be fabulous, even if the weather isn't going to be the greatest!  It's time to spend doing fun things with my loves!

Four.
It's been an emotional week with lots of ups and downs on all fronts. Thought this was appropriate! Well said, sir.  Well said.

Five.I had my very first Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks yesterday.  I'm now officially ready for the Fall.  Although normally not available until September, to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the Pumpkin Spice Latte, if you give the code PSL 10, you can have one now!  You're welcome!

That's it for this Friday!  Have a great weekend!

Dog Days

Long before having a baby was even on our radar, we were parents.  I know. Scandalous. ..
It really isn't that scandalous though since we were parents to our dogs!   What started out as a one dog house, has turned into a three-ring circus – literally.  We now have three dogs.  Three very large dogs.  I sometimes cringe saying it because it makes us look crazy!  I promise we’re not!  Life often has a plan of its own, which may not always be the plan you envisioned.  Without further ado, please meet our beasts!

Maggie

Maggie is our almost 8-year-old blue Weimaraner.   Her coat is darker than most of the Weimaraner’s that you see, which makes her the defect of the liter.   For any of you who know of or have had a Weimaraner, you can skip over this description.   You know exactly what I am going to say.
Maggie is rambunctious, energetic, neurotic and needy.   She is a 60 pound bony lap dog.  She is wild beyond words and most days slightly irritating, but then she turns on the charm and we couldn't imagine our home without her.  As with most Weimaraner’s, she’s highly intelligent, yet also dim.  She barks at the slightest sound and demolishes anything left in her crate when we leave her.  She truly believes that she is a human and sleeps under Brian’s legs each night.  Note: Never again will a dog ever sleep in bed with us again.  I don’t know how he sleeps at all because she is up and down all night.  Thank goodness Brian is a sound sleeper.

This is what we wake up to every morning.

She was given us to by my Dad when I was still in college.  He and my step-mom already had two dogs at the time and although they thought they could handle a third, it made their home dynamic crazy.  It was just too much for them to handle.  |Insert foreshadowing of things to come with us. |  I was finishing up college and Brian was starting his career and we had often talked about getting a dog, so the timing worked out perfectly.  She was our one and only dog until Brian, who works in law enforcement, told me that he wanted to join the K9 Division.  Within 6 months, we added another dog to the mix.

Meet Kemo

Kemo is our 8-year-old German Shepherd.  He was an active working dog for many years in law enforcement before transferring to our family and becoming my husband’s partner.  Although already trained, Kemo and Brian needed to be trained together, so he underwent another 3 months of training for his skill with Brian.  Once he graduated from the Academy, Kemo worked on the road every day for 8 months, until he started having hip problems.
What started out as a slight limp turned into Kemo not being able to walk seemingly overnight.  He couldn't move his hind legs at all.  If Brian left his sight, he would drag himself after Brian.  We rushed him to the vets, who ran a variety of tests, all of which came back negative.  The agency that Brian works for told us that we had two options – to put him to sleep or they would sign him over to us.  We were heart-broken.  After a long day of tests, this was not what we wanted to hear.  Late that evening, around 9 p.m., the vet called and said that she had been researching Kemo’s case all day.  She said that it was rare, but that sometimes thyroid disorders can cause partial paralysis in dogs.  Our only hope was to get him on medication as soon as possible. Brian rushed out to pick up the prescription and we gave him his first dose that evening.   We went to bed with heavy hearts, knowing that we may have to put Kemo to sleep the next day.  It just wasn't fair to him to watch him suffer.
The next morning, we woke up to Kemo standing and wagging his tail!  It was nothing short of a miracle.  He was stilled retired from active duty and signed him over to us.  Kemo is very young at heart and more active than ever.  He romps and runs around our yard as if he never had a problem.   You would never know that he has any problems, other than the two pills that he takes daily for his thyroid.
Kemo makes Maggie look even more neurotic and magnifies how needy she is.  We often refer to Kemo as our pet rock!  If you feed him, play with him, and pet him, he is calm and needs nothing else.  He doesn't require anywhere near the work that Maggie does.

Kemo is kindhearted and loves McKenzie.  We sometimes call him Nana because he truly believes that he is her keeper.   He loved her from the second we brought her home for the hospital.  One of the very first nights home, he gently jumped up on the side of the pack and play and pulled her by her swaddle closer to him.   After a slight heart attack, we realized that he was watching over her.  They have been best buds ever since.
Since Kemo was retired and Brian was still a part of the K9 division, he needed another working dog.  Enter dog #3…

 Kilo Gram

Kilo Gram is a 6-year-old black lab.  He is actively working with my husband in the K9 Division.  He is one of the most productive working dogs in the agency, but you would never know that by looking at him.  If you are looking for Kilo when he’s not working, you will often find him in a spare bedroom, sleeping on the floor.  I guess he works hard, so he rests hard!  We call him the camel because he doesn't ask to go outside more than twice a day.  Again, Maggie will cry to go outside every 10 minutes.   He is a big baby at heart and loves to be loved.  He refuses to give kisses, but will gladly accept all the love and attention he can get.   During a thunderstorm, you will often find him in our hallway bathroom, in the tub.  Recently, he’s even begun to shut the bathroom door before he climbs into the tub.    My big, brave police dog is really quite a chicken, but the epitome of easy.
McKenzie loves to pet him because he’s an easy target since he won’t run away from her.  He is really rather indifferent to everything.    Easy going and lovable, he completes our perfect family.
Some days make me crazy with all three of them, but I couldn't imagine our crazy life without them.
Is there any wonder why McKenzie’s first word was dog-dog!?

I Said I Would Never...Things You Would Never Do As a Mom | 52 Weeks ofBlogging With A Purpose

I laughed when I saw this topic.  There are lots of things that I swore I wouldn't do when I was a Mom, but the one thing that came to mind was this:
I said I would never…be like my Mom.  Wow, was I wrong.   I am just like her!
Growing up, especially during those difficult preteen and teenage years, I thought my mom was a tyrant.  She refused to let us have fun, she refused to buy us the things we wanted, and she embarrassed us.  Once I started driving, she made me tell her everywhere I was going, even if there were multiple stops.  I had to call when I got to each stop safely.  It was mortifying.
It’s funny the rose-colored glasses you wear as a kid.   I don’t know if it’s my age or the fact that I am now a Mom, but I see things so differently.  When my mom wouldn't allow us to have fun, it was because she was worried about our safety.  When she refused to buy us the things we demanded, it was because she was a single mom struggling to make ends meet.  We inevitably always had what we needed, but you know that when you are a teenager, what you need and want you want are two very different things.  If I’m being honest, we often got the things we wanted as well, but my mom was smart.  She made us work for them.  We had to earn them.  We earned them with good grades, good behavior, completed chores and working hard.
Unknowingly, or maybe knowingly, she taught us lessons that have stuck with me throughout my life.   I have learned the importance of working hard, of saving money, of being prepared, of having a plan, and of being organized.  Many people laugh at me.  Although I do online banking, I keep a paper check register, as well.  If I think back to my childhood, I can still picture my mom pulling out her check register, her paper bank statement, her pencil and her jewel button calculator.

Remember these?

She would sit at the dining room table and balance her checkbook, placing check marks in the register next to the items that had cleared.   Clearly, it was often the lessons that my mom didn't teach, but rather modeled, that taught us the most.  Although not always an easy road, she never lost sight of what was important.  She taught us what it meant to be compassionate, to be respectful, to cherish family and to love with all of your heart.  My mom is the epitome of perfection.
Even though I've got years before McKenzie is old enough to feel “wronged” by many of the same things that I thought were so “wrong”, knowing how I feel as a mother and knowing how much I love this little girl, I know I will be the exact same way.  You see, everything that my Mom did and everything that she wouldn't let us do all came from a place of love.   I see kids today and the things they are allowed to do, wear, say, and be and I couldn't be happier that my Mom loved me so much.  What may have seemed over-bearing at the time was her way of ensuring that she was raising children that showed compassion and respect, but that also had respect for themselves and the way they behaved.   I believe I am a better person because of this.
I often said I would never be like my Mom, but you know what?  I couldn't be happier that I am just like her.  If I am half of the mom to McKenzie that she was to my sister and I, then I will have been a phenomenal mother.

Cycling for a Cause

Today is a big day for our family!  We are gathering to welcome home my cousin, Casey, from a summer long journey.  A journey that was both difficult and rewarding.  A journey that has a personal connection to not only Casey, but our entire family.
I am in awe of my 21-year-old cousin's strength, determination, hard-work and activism.    While many 21-year-old's spent their summer at the bar or sunbathing at the beach, Casey was cycling across the United States for the past 70 days.   4,000+ miles were traveled from Baltimore to Seattle to raise money with the organization 4k for Cancer.  Casey and 27 other young adults began their journey in Baltimore on June 2^nd and ended their trek in Seattle on August 10^th.

After being touched by our Aunt’s breast cancer diagnosis last year, Casey decided to ride to honor our Aunt’s battle.  Our Aunt, now a cancer survivor, will be there to greet her today!
It is an incredible experience and an extraordinary feat that was accomplished over the course of the summer. Each rider dedicated various legs to individuals who have been affected by cancer - both those they know personally and those they met along the route.  Each rider wrote about their experience on this journey.
On day 12 of their journey, Casey wrote, “Yesterday was a roller-coaster of emotions. We had an extremely long day. 100 miles to Cleveland. Six or seven of those miles were on a dirt path that made it seem like 20 miles. My bike felt like it was sinking. My body was done when we hit 40 miles. I wanted to get hit by a car. But, instead of being a drama queen, I reminded myself of who I was riding for and how battling cancer has to be much harder than anything I was feeling at that moment. That’s the only reason why I made it to Cleveland.”.
The riders were rewarded for their hard work by seeing some of the most scenic attractions that this country has to offer.  Route highlights included the Finger Lakes, Niagara Falls, Great Lakes, Cedar Point, the Corn Palace, The Badlands, Mt Rushmore, Yellowstone, Glacier, North Cascades National Parks and the San Juan Islands.   The pictures are breath-taking!

The organization that organizes this ride is the non-profit, 4k for Cancer.    4k for Cancer is dedicated to enhancing lives by supporting, educating and connecting young adults and their loved ones who have been affected by cancer.    They offer scholarships and help cancer survivors and their family regain a sense of normalcy.
The 4k for Cancer organization has been cycling across the country in the fight against cancer for 12 years.  This is the 3^rd year for the Baltimore to Seattle ride.
Casey, we are all so proud of you for this incredible undertaking.  You have proven your strength, your determination and that hard work pays off.  You are a testament to your parents (who missed you more than you know) and to our family.  You are a role model for all of your cousins and even the new generation.  I know that this is not the end of your adventures. You are going to do many great things!

Congratulations on accomplishing something that most of us only dream of doing!
You rock!

5 on Friday

One.
I know it's still August, but the cooler weather has gotten me in the mood for Fall and the holidays.  I may or may not have been Pinning this...and looking for Christmas card photo ideas.

Two.
I’m working really hard on being healthy – on eating right, on exercising more, on intentionally making the time to do so.  It’s not always easy, but I’m working on it.

Three.
We plan on purchasing this in the very near future.  So many mixed emotions because she’s not our tiny little baby any longer. What age did you switch you baby from a crib to a toddler bed?

Four.
There is currently a no kissing, no hugging, no hand-holding rule in place at our house.  McKenzie will not allow Brian and I to do it!   If I lay my head on Brian’s shoulder or lean in to kiss him, she will run over from wherever she is in the room and physically separate us.  She will wedge herself in between us and push one of us away.  It’s a toss-up as to who she pushes away.  I guess it depends on who she likes more that day!

Five.We’re currently in a Wonder Week. For those of you without children, a Wonder Week is when nothing you do is right and there is a melt-down about everything.  They say it’s caused by their brains growing and neurons firing, but I call it maddening.  It take the strength of Wonder Woman not to lose your mind during this time!

I’m currently reading The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp.  So far, I’m not very good at any of it.   Any tips on what to do about the constant meltdowns?  Part of me wants to ignore them and not draw any attention (both positive and negative) to them, but I also don’t want her thinking that this is acceptable.  Moms…feel free to help!

 

Not McKenzie, but similar to how every night this week as been!

That it's for 5 on Friday!  Have a great weekend!

A Somewhat Wordless Wednesday

What did you say!?  It's only Wednesday?!

Oh No!

Don't worry!  The weekend's almost here!

Have a great day!

10 Survival Tips to the Expecting Mom | 52 Weeks of Blogging With APurpose

I'm a little late in joining this, but since I just started blogging, I figured I would pick up with Week 10 and make up the additional posts on the back-end.  Becky, from From Mrs. to Mama, started this amazing project.  Each Monday, Becky posts a different writing prompt with various themes, from motherhood and parenting to marriage and childhood !  I have enjoyed following Becky for quite some time now and am excited to join in on the fun!
This week's topic is fitting since we just celebrated my sister-in-laws this past weekend.  Erin is due in October and I can't wait to be an Aunt for the first time!   Many of these topics came up this weekend, but here they are in a concise list...10 Survival Tip to the Expecting Mom

1.  Write down everything about your pregnancy - I was really great about this in the beginning.  I wrote down everything I felt, experienced, worried about, and ate.  Then the fatigue kicked in and I stopped.  I swore I would remember it, because at that time, it was so important to me.  I still have some of the major dates - the first time I felt McKenzie kick, the first time Brian felt her kick, all the dates of our doctor appointments, etc., but I am missing out on the day-to-day details.  Write them down.  You will want to remember them when you are pregnant again or at the very least when your daughter asks you what it was like when you were pregnant.

2. Take pictures - I was awful with this.  I felt beautiful pregnant, but refused to get my picture taken.   I never wanted maternity pictures thanks to my very swollen ankles.  I regret all of that now.  I honestly probably have about 4 pictures of me throughout my entire pregnancy.  Many of them are from my Baby Shower.  I just did not want to be photographed.  At the very least, I wish I would have taken weekly belly pictures.  Even if no one ever saw them, I could have them and look back on them to see the changes in me, as my baby grew and changed.

3. Stop reading - Although it's great to be informed, stop reading!  Seriously...stop Googling things.  It only makes thing worse.  You can Google something as simple as heartburn during pregnancy.  Even researching a pregnancy concern that is completely normal and most women experience, you will inevitably stumble upon the site that shares some woman's tragic story about how her heartburn was a serious medical condition in which the baby and the mother's life was in jeopardy.  Honestly, it will create more anxiety and stress.  Listen to your gut instinct as to whether something is wrong, ask your family and friends, or better yet your doctor!    The reading part goes for once the baby is here as well.  Children all reach milestones at different points.  Reading about this milestones and timelines will have you convinced that there is an issue with your child.  Know the milestones but don't worry if your child isn't at the milestone exactly on time.
4. Stop worrying about how your relationship with your significant other will change - I don't know if it was hormones or me being insecure, but I worried a lot about what our marriage would be like after the baby arrived.  I worried that we wouldn't have time for each other or that somehow things would be different.  It was one of those worries that I never voiced to anyone, because I was worried that I was the only one feeling this way.  At that time, I had started following Melissa at Honey Do's and I Love Yous.  She was expecting her first child and was due right around the time I was.   She posted this and I cried.  Someone else was feeling that same way I was!  I could have written this post myself.
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to worry about it a little less.  Yes, you and your significant others relationship will change, but in the best way possible.  There will be difficult days, but your marriage will become stronger.  Brian and I have always been close, but having McKenzie made us even closer.  We were now an official family.  We love each other more and have a new-found respect for one another for the parents that we are to McKenzie.  Although our parenting styles may be different, we each have our own strengths that we bring to the parenting table.   So worry a little less.  Your relationship will change, but it will be a change that you won't mind.

5. Minimal Hospital Bags - Don't over pack!  I was completely guilty of this!  I packed way more than I would have ever used in our few short days at the hospital.  Leave your pre-maternity clothes at home.  You still won't fit in them when you leave the hospital.  Don't even bring a ton of maternity clothes.  You will stay in your maternity pajamas until you are ready to be discharged.  The bare necessities will be more than enough.  Promise.
And if you're like me, you may have a friend who had a perfect labor and delivery.  She posted pictures of her and her husband playing UNO throughout her labor.  I had hopes that I would have a delivery like her.  I ran out and bought a pack of UNO cards.  The only thing I thought about using those cards for was to throw them across the room at Brian as I was in labor and told that I had progressed too quickly and couldn't have an epidural.    Thank goodness I only labored for three hours from the time of the first contraction until McKenzie was born.   There was never a moment that I wanted to play cards though!
6. Limited Birth Plan - Don't take this so seriously.  Everything that you have planned and everything that you envisioned your labor to be, won't be like that at all.  There is no way to control what's happening and how your delivery will go.  The less firm you are on your birth plan, the better.  Roll with the punches and know that no birth plan is perfect.  Nothing will go exactly as planned.  Go in with the ideas that you are firm on - pain medication or not (and even this is open to change at any point), breastfeeding or formula, pacifier or no pacifier, skin to skin immediately, if you want the baby to stay in your room at night or go to the nursery, etc.   Be firm on the basics, but know that there may never be a moment to play your birthing playlist, to get into a birthing tub, to use a yoga ball, to walk the halls, or to even breathe the way you had envisioned.
7. #2- Stop worrying about whether or not you will during delivery.  I know this may seem a little blunt, but honestly, it was one of my biggest fears leading up to delivery.  When you are in that moment, you won't even care about it or know if it happens.  You will want your baby to born so badly that you don't care what happens in order to make this goal possible.  Pooping and all.  And if it does happen...know you won't be the first and you won't be the last.  Not that big of a deal.  Promise.
8. Breastfeeding - If you are planning on breastfeeding, know that it's hard.  I wish someone would have told me how hard it was and how much it would hurt.  Although it doesn't always work out for everyone, know that it can be done.  There were many nights I cried and wanted to give up.  Keep trying.  Find a support system.  Use your hospital's lactation consultant.  Just know that it's harder than anyone will ever tell you.  Early on, it's not the picture perfect moment of a mother cradling her young baby.  With work, you can get there, but it takes work while you and the baby get used to one another.  Even if it doesn't work out, know that you gave it your all and did the best for your baby, even if you only breastfed for a day.
9.  Your After Baby Body -  It took 9 months to build that baby and it will take that long to get your body back.  Even then, it will never be the same.  There is always something that will remind you of the baby you once carried.   Wear it as a badge of honor.  That stretch mark on your stomach is beautiful.  Don't expect to feel 100% right after the baby is born.  For me, it took months before I felt like myself again - body image, energy level, hormones and all.  Give it time.  It's all normal!
10. Enjoy Every Second - Savor every moment of being pregnant.  Even the tough parts.  You will reach a moment in your pregnancy when you just want the baby here.  You are tired, swollen, and uncomfortable.  You will do everything in your power to jump-start labor.   It's an uneasy time because you feel like a walking time bomb - not knowing when you will go into labor. Take that time to spend a few extra minutes with your husband.  Take that time to enjoy a quiet moment reading or getting a pedicure.  Enjoy the little kicks from the inside.  There are a few fleeting moments left with  just and your little person.   And before you know it, they go from this...

to this...

A walking, babbling beautiful toddler!

Because, once this baby is here...time goes so quickly!

5 on Friday

One.
I am so excited for my sister-in-law's Baby Shower tomorrow.  I can't even believe this little baby is almost here and I am over the moon excited about being an Aunt for the first time!  Can't wait to meet this new little bundle!
Two.
I am thankful beyond words for past friendships, current friendships and new friendships.  At each phase of my life, I have met people who mean different things to me.  Although not all of my friends have children, it's especially powerful to connect with other Mom's.  It's an indescribable bond.  We each understand why the other is drinking!
Three.
I am so in love  with my little family and thankful for the weekend.   It's the time that I cherish the most.
Four.
Brian leaves me in a week for a work conference out of state.  I can handle anything, but it still makes me nervous.  We are such a team and are strong together in different ways.
Five.
I love what a great Dad Brian is to McKenzie.  He just told me tonight that he plans on keeping McKenzie home from daycare the day before he goes out of town, so he can spend time with her.  I love watching their relationship.  Makes my heart melt.

McKenzie | 15 Months |

Dear McKenzie,

Happy 15 months!  This month has been an incredible month of change for you!  You are growing by leaps and bounds and your personality is emerging more and more each day!  You now have your own opinions and although you may not have many words to communicate, you sure know how to tell us what you want!

Most days, you are happy and giggly and a joy to be around.  Even the worst days aren't so bad because Dad and I are figuring out how to distract and re-direct.  Dad is really good at it!  He says it's because he thinks like you do!  :)

Here are your stats for the month:

Clothing Size:
You are wearing mostly 12 month clothing, although much of it is starting to get short.  I think you have really grown over the past couple of weeks.  You have started wearing 18 months in some outfits.  Definitely at an in between stage!



What's Happening:

Walking!  That's what's happening.  It's not even walking any more...you now run!   You run around the house and into each room.  It's hard to even keep up with you!

Favorite Thing - Your "tappy" sandals.  See picture above.  See those shoes?  Those are your favorite.  These are the only shoes you allow us to put on without a fight.  As soon as we put them on you, you run out to the hardwood floor as fast as you can.  You run around, tapping your feet and laughing.    You would wear these sandals all day.  Just a few nights ago,  you were not happy with us until we put the sandals on you.  You were in your pajamas at the time.  Quite a sight!  You would not let us remove them.  It's completely normal to sleep in your sandals, right!?  I had to sneak and take them off of you once you fell asleep!

Words  - The favorite is still "dog-dog".  It's the first word that you say as you wake up.  You point to the dogs as they come into your room and you smile and laugh at them.  You walk all around the house pointing to the dogs and shouting "dog-dog"!  You get super excited whenever you see a dog on the TV and will stop what you are doing to shout "dog-dog"!  You are mimicking the cadence and sounds of what we say more and more, so I'm thinking a few more words may be coming soon!



Stairs - You can now walk up the stairs.  There are 15 of them to be exact.  We always stand behind you and it still makes me nervous, but you are steady and fast.

Kicking a Ball - We went to the Harford County Farm Fair in July and you won a pink bouncy ball!  It has become one of your favorite toys.  You bounce it and kick it all through-out the house.  Many nights, you are entertained by it for 30+ minutes, which says a lot about someone who normally bounces from one toy to the next!   You giggle and smile and are getting great at throwing it.

Bike Riding - You received a bike for your first birthday and you love it!  We keep it in the garage and any time that you see it, you demand to ride it.  You love being pushed in it and will hang out in it while Dad and I get things done outside.   Your feet are almost long enough to touch the pedals, so the next lesson will begin soon!  Dad was riding a bike by 2  years old, so you have a lot to live up to!



Reading - You love books and reading!  On our long car rides home each day, you will read your book and point to the pictures .  Your favorite is the animal picture book.   Of course, the page with the dog is your favorite!  We read to you each night and your demands for the numbers of books we read grows as well!  Thank goodness your books are still short, because I believe we recently read 6 of them before you went to bed!

McKenzie, words can't even describe how much we love you!  You are so much fun to be around and our favorite times are the times we get to spend with you!    Continue to grow into the little person that you are becoming!  It's so much fun to be your parents!

Love,
Mom and Dad

One Year Later

One year ago today.  I can’t believe it’s been a year.  It seems like just yesterday.  I was in a meeting at work.  My phone began vibrating.  My Mom was calling.  Jessica must have been finished with her surgery.  Great!   I messaged back, “In a meeting, everything ok?”.  I must have known subconsciously.  Text message, “Things didn't go as planned.  Come over as soon as you can”.  My heart sank.  I left the meeting immediately, feeling as though my legs were heavy and couldn't carry me fast enough.  I walked into the Family Meeting Room, off to the side of the main waiting room.  Remembering what everyone’s faces looked like.  There were tears.  Red faces.  Tissues and sobs.   My 23-year-old sister’s world turned upside down.  Our family tested more than I ever thought possible.   Jessica had suffered a stroke during a procedure to embolize the AVM in her brain.

So where are we a year later?  Much better than we were before!   From a critically ill young woman, lying in the hospital bed intubated with a feeding tube to a vibrant 24-year-old that just completed a 5k, Jessica’s recovery has been nothing short of amazing.    She has returned to functioning independently a majority of the time.  She has returned to work full-time.  Her social life has returned.  She is more of the Jessica that we knew, except she’s different now.  She’s stronger.  Much stronger.

Her strength was glaringly apparent during her recent 5k.  When asked if she wanted to stop along the race course, she firmly replied No…she was doing this…she wanted to do this.  There were multiple points she could have quit.  Clearly in pain and struggling to walk/jog such a distance, there were multiple times throughout the race that she could have quit.  I wanted to be the support she needed to finish, yet I didn't want her to hurt herself. It was a struggle throughout the race for her and it was a struggle for me to see her trying so hard.

We watched the slowest of people pass us.  I was determined that she was not going to be the last to finish.    As we were nearing the finish line, there was just one person behind us.  We walked faster.  She cried that she was in pain.  We pushed harder.

We crossed the finish line at exactly the one hour mark.  We weren't the last to finish the race.  Upon crossing the finish line, we hugged and sobbed together.  It is a moment that I will never forget.    People looked at us for celebrating…an almost dead last finish.  If they only knew.  Our finish time was irrelevant.  A year ago, I almost lost my sister.  The emotions of the past year came flooding out.  She will never know how proud I am of her and how honored I am to be her sister.

[caption id="attachment_347" align="aligncenter" width="225"] Casey Cares 5k[/caption]

There are still a few obstacles left to overcome.  The biggest will be to undergo the radiation required to deaden the remainder of the AVM.  After that, she is looking forward to moving out of my Mom’s house.  To driving again.  To settling down and getting her life back. She is looking forward to the things that any normal almost 25-year-old wants.      And she deserves it.

So what’s new a year later…we’re stronger than ever – as individuals and as a family.

I can tell you this…A year later, there is no greater love and bond between that of my sister and I.

Congratulations Jessica for working so hard and coming so far!  I love you!

Side-note: For those of you who don't know Jessica's story, you can click here to read all about her road to recovery and hard work!