Our Christmas Card | Photo Affections

This year, I found a killer deal on Living Social for Christmas cards.  I had never heard of or used Photo Affections before, but I thought...why not!? I was not disappointed!

Their site was user-friendly and I loved their layouts.  There were so many to choose from, I had a hard time deciding.  In the end, I created 8 different options.  I printed samples of each and took them home to Brian for him to narrow them down!  It was a tough decision, but here's the one we chose!

I love how they turned out.  The order shipped promptly and I received the cards about a week after I created them.  I did order these in October though, so maybe I beat some of the rush!?  I know...so Type A!

What blew me away about this company was their customer service.  About 2 weeks ago, I received a complete duplicate order of our Christmas cards again!  I panicked thinking that I must have accidentally hit the "Re-Order" button when I was on their site.  I logged in to my bank account to check, but no charge.  Hmmmmm.  Strange.    I ended up calling their customer service department.  As soon as I explained to them that I received a duplicate order but was not charged for it, they explained.  They informed me that another customer called and said that they had issues with the paper of their cards (apparently, it appeared as if something had spilled on them), so Photo Affections pulled all orders that were created from the lot of matte paper that the other's customer's cards had come from and re-created the order.  They didn't want any other customer's having the same issue and having any delay in receiving corrected Christmas cards if there were issues.

I thought that was super of this company - even when our cards were completely perfect!    So, for $20, I ended up with 140 beautiful matte Christmas cards!  What a deal!

I most certainly will be using them in the future for all of our printing needs!

P.S. I love receiving Christmas cards!  It's the highlight of my day this time of year!  It's like having little surprises in your mail each day!  Love it!

Dear Life... Letters from a Tired Mama

Today, I am choosing to write letters of "concern" to the areas of my life in which I am struggling. Think of it as the angry holiday shopper, who is being rude to the store employee's, demanding something or other at customer service and who is voicing their concern...loud and clear!  Yep...that's me! That's where I am!

Dear Daylight Savings,
Give me my baby back!  I can't solely blame it on you, but I will.  Ever since you appeared, McKenzie fails to sleep past 5:45 a.m.  We've been uber productive recently, but that's because we're up, fed,  and dressed all before 7.  Give me back my baby that used to sleep until 8:30/9.

Dear Sleep Regression,
I want my baby back as well!  You know...the one who used to sleep soundly throughout the night. This tired Mom needs a break.  I need the baby that would sleep 12 plus hours.  Not the one who now finds it fun to wake up any time between 1 and 3 each night to check in on me. The toddler that likes to be rocked, but refuses to fall back to sleep until 4:30, when my alarm goes off at 5.  At that point, if I'm lucky, I can get dressed in peace.  Most mornings, I have a sidekick. Drying and styling your hair with one hand (because someone needs to be held) is a fine art.   I'm begging, let my toddler sleep!

Dear Molars,
I believe you are breaking through.  I also believe that you are working hand-in-hand with Daylight Savings and Sleep Regression.  It's not nice to gang up on people.  I don't have solid proof of your arrival, (because checking could mean possibly having one less finger - due to a crazy toddler chomping down) yet I believe that you are here.  You, my friend, are a part of her moodiness and sleepless nights.  Just show up already so we can be done with this whole teething thing.  It seems as though you are also friends with Karma...because we basically survived all other teething sessions without incident yet somehow you want to really drive the point home with this one.

Dear Tantrum Throwing 19-Month Old,
Mommy loves you so much, but I've had enough.  I'm so thankful that you are a healthy and independent little person.  I love that you have found your voice, but the constant screams of "Stop!" and the screaming every time you don't get your way has to stop.  You've made your point.  You're mad.  I get it.  I still doesn't change the fact that you have to get in to the car seat to get home.  Now let's move on, so we can end our day - at home and preferably happy!

Dear Husband,
Thank you for sharing the duties with me and getting up with McKenzie in the middle of the night.  You're probably doing this more for your own safety, because you'd truly have a crazy person to live with if not...but nonetheless, I'm thankful.

And in the true spirit of the holiday season...

Dear God,
Thank you for giving me McKenzie.  I'll take the sleep deprived nights, the tantrums and the fits, because that means that I am blessed.  Please give me the strength and patience, and maybe even a few more hours (or minutes) of sleep each night.  Amen.

Random Acts of Holiday Kindness

Happy December and the beginning of Christmas craziness!  I completely enjoyed Thanksgiving and spending so many days home with my love and little girl!  It was nice to disconnect and really just spend time with family, some of whom traveled in from Houston!
Although my favorite time of year, it's also one of the busiest.  Our family has lots of traditions and fun events that we like to do during this holiday season.  I'll touch on more of those later. All of these traditions keep us so busy though.  I don't think there is a weekend until half-way through January that we don't have something planned!
I find this season incredibly fulfilling, yet at times, incredibly stressful.  It's those stressful moments that remind me that I am loved and blessed.  From buying presents to holiday parties, I know that I am lucky.  Lucky to be able to afford to do so.  Lucky that I have so many family and friends.  Lucky that we like each other so much that we want to spend time together.   It's this time of the year that causes me to stop and think.
What if other's aren't so lucky?  What about those that spend the holidays alone?  What about those who wish they had enough money to buy presents?  What about those that wish they had a warm place to stay?What about those whose only wish for Christmas to is be healthy?
But better yet...
What about those that have all of the above, but get so caught up in the commercialism and business of the season that they forget about others?
This holiday season, wouldn't it be nice to show others that we care?  That's why I'm requesting that for the month of December, you join me in displaying random acts of kindness.  To help those in need. To help those who need a reminder that Jesus is the reason for the season.  To help remind yourself that even the smallest acts of kindness can mean so much.
Below are just a few ways that you can pay it forward this holiday season.  There are so many others!

Not all of the acts of kindness need to be momentous.  Just the other day, while sitting in the Starbuck's drive through, I decided that I would pay it forward.  I pulled up to the window to pay for my order and told the barista that I would like to pay for the car behind me as well.   She was taken back and just kept saying over and over again, "That's so sweet.  That is so nice of you! This just made my day".  I didn't even do anything that directly affected the barista, yet, she was moved.   I'll never know what the reaction of the person in the car behind me was, but I can only hope and assume that it brightened their day.
I know my random act of kindness was just coffee.  I didn't solve world hunger or find a cure for cancer, but I can hope that the cup of coffee and scone reminded the customer that there are still good people in the world.  That maybe it changed their mood and outlook for the day in some slight way.  That maybe they chose to pay it forward to someone as well.
This holiday season, let's pay it forward with random acts of kindness.  You'll never know the impact that you could have on someone's day.

What random acts of kindness will you do?

The Thankful Project: Day 28 - Topic of My Choice

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

For those of you that stuck with me throughout these past 28 days, thank you!  I know some of the posts were more serious than others, but I hope that you enjoyed taking the journey with me.   I’m thankful that I stuck with it.  Some of the prompts encouraged me to write outside of my comfort zone and for that I’m thankful.  This series has allowed me to express myself and make new friends along the way.   For that I’m grateful!
You’ve heard what I’m thankful for during the past 28 days, yet there’s even more I’m thankful for.  Today, among all of the other blessings in my life, I’m thankful for this space. Something that I started a few months ago as a place for me to jot down my, has grown in to so much more.  I’ve developed friendships with incredible other women – women that come from all walks of life, from place throughout the world.  The sense of community has been incredible.  We’re all on our own journeys, but it’s nice to know that we’re all in it together.  Some days, the little comments of encouragement, support and gratitude are what get me through the day!  Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
In light of Thanksgiving and spending time with my family for the next few days, I’ll be missing from this spot.  I’ll be back in December with more holiday themed goodness, but for now, enjoy this day with loved ones and know that I’m thankful for you! 

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.Be sure to stop by and check it out!

The Thankful Project: Day 26 - A Criticism You've Received

So you know when I miss a blog post, when I've signed up for the challenge of writing for 28 days straight during the month of November?
Or when I did’t get that job I applied for?
Or when I miss a day of P90X or Jillian Michael’s Body Revolution?
Yep.  All of that.  It bothers me.  I am a perfectionist at heart.  Even border-line OCD.
I pretend like it’s okay to miss the blog post and that I’ll catch up later.  The truth?  It bothers me all day that I didn't get a chance to post, when clearly I knew what the prompt was for Day 24.
That job? I pretend like it wasn't the right fit.  The truth?  I self-examine and over analyze every single thing I do to figure out why I didn't get it and what more I could do.
The workout’s? They’re over until next Monday, because no workout can ever begin mid-week and you must start again at Day 1, since you missed a workout somewhere in the series.
I say all of this to show that being a perfectionist is a double-edged sword.  I work hard and put all of myself into everything I do, but I’m thankful for the criticism I received that says I’m too hard on myself.
I don’t know if it’ll ever change me, but it can remind me to put things into perspective.  That it’s okay not to have blog posts scheduled and set-up if I wasn't motivated or inspired to write.  That although I may not have been the right person for the job I applied for, I’m not a failure.   That workouts can start mid-week and that you don’t need to start over.

That it’s great to put so much of yourself in to all you do, but that you've got to take care of yourself as well.
I’m thankful I’m a perfectionist, and even more thankful for those who put it into perspective.

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.Be sure to stop by and check it out!

The Thankful Project: Day 25 - Something You Know

After cutting down our Christmas tree and decorating with a toddler this weekend, I learned a lot.  Who would have thought the lesson would have been taught by a toddler?
Let me back up.  This weekend, we spent Saturday cutting down our Christmas tree.  It’s a tradition that Brian and I have done every year.   Last year, Kenzie was just 6 months old and I carried her in the baby carrier.  Let me tell you, much easier!

Tree Farm 2012

This year, we have a 18 month old who has more determination and will to do things her way than most adults I know.  Honestly!  We arrived at the tree farm and had a slight melt-down early on because we were making her wear a hat.  Once we were over that, things were smooth sailing…until they told us the tractor that takes you to where the trees are, wasn't up and running.
“OK", we thought, "we’ll walk it.  It can’t be that hard.”  Again, naive parent’s here.  McKenzie wanted to walk the gravel road herself.   She wanted to walk it at her pace and if you attempted to pick her up, then she would lose her mind.

See the tree on the upper left side of the screen?  The one at the top?  That's where we walked to!

The whole tree experience, that should have taken 30 minutes from start to finish, ended up taking 2 hours.  When we finally reach where the trees were, she had a melt-down because she didn't want to walk in the grass.  She wanted to stay on the gravel road.

Melt-Down

We finally found the perfect tree and cut it down.  We figured she’d be tired and would want to be carried on the walk back.  Again…we were wrong.  She walked the entire gravel path back.

Our tree 2013

I wish I had a way to track how far this little girl walked.  It was easily 3 miles.  She never gave up.  She never quit.  She just kept walking, as fast as her little legs could carry her.

So you know what I know?  Toddlers…they can teach you a lot.  Like how to slow down, to enjoy the moment, to take your time and to really appreciate the things that you are doing, because if we hadn't, we would have missed the opportunity to capture such gorgeous pictures - the lake, the green trees and the sky.

Tree Farm 2013

I’m really thankful.

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.Be sure to stop by and check it out!

The Thankful Project: Day 21 - Something That's Easy to Take for Granted

Each morning, we get up, shower, get dressed and prepare to start our day.  We often take for granted that we are able to get out of bed on our own, able to shower and dress on our own, and able to care for ourselves.
Working in a hospital has given me a new perspective on the things that we take for granted day in and day out.  Today, I’m thankful for health.  It’s so easy to take for granted.  It’s so easy to assume that we’ll always be healthy.
I’ve seen my share of sad stories – more frequently than I’d like.  I recently met a man who was diagnosed with brain cancer.  The man I saw in the hospital bed, was not the man he once was.  He was confused and combative.  He required assistance for just about everything – eating, toileting, bathing, and walking.
His wife and his family were by his side the entire time. They shared stories with the staff about the man that he was.  They shared stories to remember him.  They shared stories to remind us that the man we were seeing and caring for now, was not the man they knew.
The wife told stories and showed the staff pictures, with the most recent picture taken in August.  It was a picture of the two of them – at a gala.  Both were dressed exceptionally well and looked full of life and love.  She told us that this picture was taken 2 weeks before he was diagnosed with brain cancer.
I thought about that man and his family a lot after that.  It’s incredible to think that in 3 short months, this family’s life has been turned upside down. In 3 short months, this man deteriorated so quickly.  In 3 short months, a wife lost her husband and the sons, their father.
My heart broke for them.
There are hundreds, even thousands of stories like this one.  Although heart-breaking, it serves as a reminder to take care of ourselves, because our health is so important.  It’s one of those things that you don’t realize how important it is, until you are sick.

It’s one of my biggest fears, especially now.  I worry about our family.  I pray each day that we continue to be blessed with health.   I can’t even imagine what these families go through, especially when it happens so suddenly. I can’t imagine what I would do.  What if that was my husband?  I would want to be by his side every moment of the day, but I also know that I would need to work to continue to provide for my family.  I would feel torn, overwhelmed and frustrated.
It’s a good reminder that when these families are demanding, frustrated and sometimes outright mean, that they aren’t the same people either.  They are dealing with extraordinary stress, facing the fear of the unknown, and are worried about their loved one.
The toll that illness and disease takes on a patient and their support system is immense.   We may take it for granted each day, but health is so important.
Today, I’m thankful for the health of my family and friends and pray that we continue to be blessed with health and happiness.

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.

Be sure to stop by and check it out!

The Thankful Project: Day 16 - Something You Own

What is it that I own that I’m thankful for????...I just couldn't decide.  To me, this thankful seemed so materialistic.  There are many things that I’m thankful I own.  I am thankful that we own our house.  We worked hard to get it.  It reminds me to continue to work hard.    I am thankful for my car.  It allows me to get to work safely each day, so I can continue to do the job that allows us to live in our house.   I am thankful for my wedding rings.  That when I look at my hand, I am reminded of our love and commitment
I’m thankful for all of these things, but the thing that I am ultimately most thankful for is this…
I am thankful that I own my actions.  That I own the right to decide what’s best for me.  That I am becoming stronger each day in standing up for myself and not allowing myself to be treated badly.  I continue to discover my voice and my strength each day and I’m really thankful for that.

What do I mean by this?  Prior to a few year ago, I let people walk all over me.  I was in horrible friendships that I was taken advantage of.  I was taken for granted.  I did things that made others happy, often forgetting about what made me happy.  I was a peacekeeper. Even if something bothered me, I internalized it and never spoke up.

Well, something has changed.  I have grown and developed a different kind of strength.  One that I’m sure I've always had, but never knew how to voice.

Don’t’ get me wrong, I am still a peacekeeper more often than not.  I avoid drama at all cost and never look for a fight.  I am at a point in my life where I don’t need that.  There’s just so much more to life!  Yet recently, I've started standing up for myself.  When someone hurts me, treats me bad, or walks all over me, I tell them!  No longer am I silent.

I believe in forgiveness and second chances, but when someone hurts me repeatedly, I've learned to walk away.  That’s it’s okay to cut ties.  I've learned that you don’t need something so toxic in your life.
I’m thankful I own the right to decide what’s best for me.  I’m thankful that I've found my voice. I’m thankful that I’m making positive decisions for me.

What are you thankful for?

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.
Be sure to stop by and check it out!

The Thankful Project: Day 13 - An Ability

This was a tough one for me.  I struggled and even Googled abilities that others were thankful for.  Many were thankful for the ability to run, walk, the ability to see, the ability to taste. None of those jumped out at me.  Although I am thankful for all of the above, I’m most thankful for my ability to feel and to feel deeply.
I work at a hospital.  I see miracles, but I also see the sadness that sickness can bring.  I talk to the patients.  I talk to their families.  I learn about their lives.  I listen to their stories and I feel.  I feel deeply.

One patient vividly sticks out in my memory.  She was an older lady who had been on and off of our unit a few times throughout the course of the year.  I had spoken to her on previous visits so we knew each other.
This particular visit was extra hard for her.  Her daughter, who was in her 30’s, died suddenly.  She was in the hospital and very ill, so the doctors would not allow her to leave for the funeral.  She was heart-broken.  I was heart-broken for her.  I can’t imagine losing a child.  I can’t imagine not being able to be there for the funeral.    She just kept saying that she felt like she didn’t have closure.  My heart hurt for her.

I am big at thinking outside of the box.  Although our hospital didn’t have anything in place to help, like a computer or I-Pad, I did.  I reached out to the patient’s other daughter and voiced how I would like to help.  I said that we could Skype with my phone so that she could be a part of the funeral.  She needed that closure.  The daughter was blown away that someone wanted to help in that way.

I gave the daughter my cell phone number. She was going to check to see who had a way to Skype with me.  The next day, the Church’s pastor called me.  He had an I-pad that he was going to let a family member use for the service. Prayers had been answered.

The next morning, I knocked on the patient’s door and went in.  I informed her of what we were able to work out and called the pastor.  Everything worked perfectly and the patient was able to be a part of her daughter’s funeral.   I asked if she wanted me to leave, so that she could be alone.  I wasn’t sure if it was too personal for a stranger to be there with her.  She grabbed my hand, smiled at me and said…you are my only family I have.  Please stay.

I sat with her for an hour.  I held her hand the entire time.  She cried and I cried.  I didn’t know her daughter, but I cried.  I felt the pain that she was feeling - the pain of losing a loved one, of being trapped at a hospital, a feeling of helplessness.

I haven‘t seen the patient since, but I think of her often.  I wonder how she is doing.  I wonder if she remembers that moment. It’s a moment that I will never forget.

I am thankful for the ability to feel deeply.  It allows me to connect with others.  It compels me to action.  It helps me empathize.   It’s something that I’m so thankful for!

What's an ability that you’re thankful for?

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.
Be sure to stop by and check it out!

The Thankful Project: Day 8 - Words

In the fast-paced, technology driven, hustle and bustle of our lives, it’s rare to receive a handwritten letter in the mail.  When you get the occasional thank you note for a birthday present or for something you've done, you almost always rush to open it, because the anticipation of what is said in that little card is almost too much to bear.

Technology has changed our society.  It now thrives on the immediacy of text message and emails.  It’s almost as if the art of actually handwriting a letter has gone away.   Of course, Brian messages me throughout the day with sweet messages that I love, but there’s just something different about a handwritten message.
I stopped in my tracks a few weeks ago when I was cleaning out a book-case and came across an accordion file folder, filled with hand written love letters from Brian.

The dates on the cards and letters ranged from a few weeks after we started dating to my time spent away at college.   I took the time to re-read each letter.  It was like I was unlocking a time capsule of memories.  Those letters reminded me of events that occurred, memories that were made, and the new love that we had for each other.  It gave me butterflies all over again.  It reminded me of why he’s perfect for me and of all the reasons that I love him.  It confirmed that although those letters are almost 11 years old, I still feel the same.  He still makes my heart skip a beat, I still love the time I spend with him, I still adore him and yes…I still want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Isn't it amazing how strongly words can impact us?  Although handwritten letters may be a thing of the past, let this thankful be a reminder of two things: The power of our words – whether written on spoken and the power of a handwritten letter - sent to someone who may not even be expecting it.

Consider writing someone a handwritten note for no reason at all!  Imagine what it would do for their day!

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.Be sure to stop by and check it out!

The Thankful Project: Day 6 - A Failure

See those girls above?  Those girls….they are my failure.

They are my best friends from college.  They were the girls I did everything with.  The girls I could always count on – through the countless nights out at a bar and for the crazy moments that life can throw at you.
I’m not necessarily thankful for this failure, but I do believe you learn from each mistake you make.
So how are these girls my failure?

I've failed them and our friendship.  I've failed by not keeping in touch, by letting life get in the way, by going way too long between phone calls, and visits and by not making more effort.

None of these girls and I ever had a falling out.  We never had a fight or a moment that ended it all.  We just grew apart.  We moved to different towns and states. Some married, while others have not.   Life.  It got in the way.  The trips to visit each other became increasingly harder.  The phone calls to keep in touch dwindled.  A constant game of phone tag.

Yes, we still know the goings-on’s of each other’s lives thanks to Facebook and I still love all of them dearly, but it’s just not the same.

I guess that’s life.  People are in your life for only a finite amount of time.  Then life shifts and you move and those people - they still remain, but as memories.
I just can’t help feeling guilty.  As if I’ve failed them.  As if I somehow should have done more, tried harder, talked more, called more.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of them. I’m a bad friend and I know I could have done more.

So why am I thankful for this failure?  It's forced me to realize that I need to stop making excuses.  To reconnect.  That it’s never too late.  Over the next few weeks, I am going to call each of them.  To chat about life, to catch up, to make the attempt.

And you know what’s crazy?  It will be as though we hadn't missed a beat.  We’ll pick up right where we left off and laugh until we cry.

Isn't that a failure worth being thankful for?

I'm linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.Be sure to stop by and check it out!

The Thankful Project: Day 5 - A Talent You Have

I am good at a lot of things, but nothing more so than the other.  I don’t have any quirky talents.  I am not a record holder of any title.  The thing I am good at comes naturally to me.  Others marvel at how I do it.
I’m thankful that, even in the worst circumstances, I am able to hold it all together.  I take a step back and look at what needs to be done.  If I don’t know how to do it, I look it up, I Google it, I figure it out.
That is my talent.  I hold it all together.  I know it doesn't seem like much, but it has helped me immensely in more than one circumstance.

When my sister was in the hospital, I became everyone’s rock.  I asked the questions that no one else thought to ask, I came up with lists of what needed to be done, I obtained access to my sister’s accounts and made sure that her bills were paid, and I worked hard to keep it all together – for everyone’s sake.
Although I’m great at keeping it together, it doesn't mean that it doesn't affect me.  If you ask Brian how many countless nights I cried on the way home, cried in his lap, cried going to bed….just cried in general, he would answer EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.  You know what?  I woke up the next morning and trudged through the challenges that the next day would bring.  I did what needed to be done each day and knew that I had the evenings to let it all go.

I know it’s not that great of a talent.  I can’t touch my nose with my tongue or wiggle my ears, but what I can do is to keep it together - to be the voice of reason, to be the calm in the storm.
I’m not sure how useful of a talent it is, but it works for me!    What is a talent that you have that you’re thankful for?

I'm linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.Be sure to stop by and check it out!

The Thankful Project: Day 1 - A Person

I'm linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for The Thankful Project.  For the next 28 days, each posting will be a response to a gratitude prompt that Kenzie provides.  Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, so what better way to remember how incredibly blessed I am, than by deliberately writing and focusing on all that I have to be thankful for.

Ironically enough, I've been wanting to do a post about the person I am most thankful for, for quite some time.  I keep trying to find the right words or even the right time.  What better time than now!? Although many people in my life could hold this title, Brian, my husband, is who I am thankful for - day in and day out.

I could write a novel about what I am thankful for him, but I'll start with a few:

I'm thankful because...

He loves me for me.  Through all of my faults, failures, imperfections, and moods.  He pushes me when necessary, yet gives me the space I need.  He reminds me that I'm not always right and helps me to see different perspectives.  He loves me for me, even though I'm not always easy to love.

He helped us become a family.  He gave me the gift of not only being an incredible partner, best friend and husband, but also that of being an amazing father to McKenzie.  He loves with all of his heart, even when his little girl (like her Mom), is not always the easiest to love.

He works so incredibly hard.  He doesn't have an easy job.  He often sees the worst of the worst. Even when his normal shifts and ever-changing schedule would be too much for most people, he works more.  He works overtime, not because we need it to survive, but because he wants to be able to provide for us.  He wants us to be able to live a life.  A life that is debt free and financially secure.  A life that allows us to do things that wouldn't otherwise be possible.  A life that he works so hard for.

He is our security.  He is our safety.  Any situation seems bearable  with him by our side.  That regardless of how it turns out, we're going to be okay.  He's going to keep us safe.  He is going to make sure that we are protected.

He's shared his life with me.  We've been together 11 years in January.  It hasn't always been perfect, but it's always been good.  Eleven years isn't an eternity, but it's enough time - to know his past. To remember the stories. To be a part of his life. To gain another family.  A family that accepted me in as if I were one of their own.  A family that I love deeply and am thankful for everything they do for us.   A family that he's chosen to share with me.

He is witty and funny.  At all times.  Even the times that I'm frustrated with his humor - when I need him to be serious.   He can make people laugh like none other.  He can lighten the mood of any situation. He is our rock, yet also our clown!

He chose me.  That I'm the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.  That I'm the one he chose to start a family with. That I'm the one that will be by his side as we watch our children grow.  That I'm that one that will grow old next to him. That I'm the one that was lucky enough to call him mine.

He is our rock and I am thankful beyond words for every day that I get to spend with him.

Change meet Anxiety. Anxiety meet Change.

I am a creature of habit...even if what I'm doing is no longer a great fit.  I would rather stay in the same place than have to deal with the unknowns that change brings.  It makes me anxious....really anxious.   Like a knot in the back of your throat, am I making the right decision, I wish someone would tell me what to do type of anxious.
I need a change.  I want a change.  It just makes me nervous. I looked to the Internet for quotes of inspiration to help me through this awful feeling.  Here's what I've got:

I always find reasons as to why now is not the time.  I think I've found reasons for the past year.  I've got to stop this vicious cycle.

I've got it great where I am right now.  Flexibility, Autonomy, A Family.  I just need something more.  I feel like I'm not being challenged.  I want a challenge.  ...Hopefully you'll remind me of this in the future!

I am learning to have faith that everything will work out .  If not, I know that there are other opportunities.  Change just makes me so anxious and afraid.

I know everything will happen exactly as it should, but it's different now.  Without a family, I probably wouldn't worry as much, but I have to.  There are people who rely on me.  People that need me.  People that I don't want to let down.
I want something better, but I'm so afraid to go after it.  The grass isn't greener on the other side, but is it better than this?

5 on Friday - October Edition

Due to my blogging hiatus over the past month, I've missed almost all of the Five on Fridays!  Here I am! Checking in with my October edition of Five on Friday!
One.Have I mentioned how much I love this time of year!? Fall in Maryland is perfect!  The leaves are finally starting to change and I can't wait to capture pictures of the gorgeousness of it all!  Each day, we get closer to this...

Pinterest

Two.Fall also means my favorite fall nail polishes!  Here's my current color:

It's my go-to this time of year and always one of my favorite's - OPI's Oh to be 25 again!

Three.I can't believe that Halloween is this coming week!  I'm so excited that I decided to make her costume and that it turned out perfectly!  I can't wait to see McKenzie in it!  Here's a sneak peek...

Four.Although I may be jumping the gun, after today, there are only 8 more Friday's until Christmas!  Wow!  I've already started shopping and am half-way there!  I refuse to be last-minute this year!

Five.As to not jump the gun completely and skip over Thanksgiving, I'm linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy and participating in her Thankful Project.  I'm excited to take on the challenge of writing every day for 28 days and to share the things that make so very thankful!  Feel free to link up and join along!

Have a great weekend!

Weekend Recap

This weekend was a whirlwind of fun, but I feel as though I need a day to recover!
Saturday started with a The American Heart Association's Heart Walk, bright and early in the morning!  It was for a great cause and lots of fun.  Thank you to all of those who donated to support the walk.

After the Heart Walk, we decided to take McKenzie to a Pumpkin Patch.  Our weekends have been jam-packed with fun recently, so this is the first moment that we had a chance to go!  We knew if we didn't do it then, that by next weekend, there wouldn't be any decent pumpkins left.
We changed it up this year and went to a small little farm.  It was equally as fun and perfect for McKenzie at this age.  She played on a swing set and we took some pictures while waiting for the hay ride out to the pumpkin patch.  She loved the hayride, but was less than thrilled about walking in the pumpkin patch.  She will run all day long around our house, but put her on the ground that has a terrain that's less than flat or firm, and she's lost!  She walks slowly and cautiously and really just wants to be carried!
We found three perfect pumpkins that we plan on decorating this week.  We ended up getting McKenzie a white pumpkin and are going to decorate it as a ghost - since that's what she's going to be for Halloween this year!
It's hard to believe that this was our little baby last year!  So many changes!

We ended the day with a dinner out at one of our favorite restaurants, Border Cafe.  Fajitas for two please!    We got home, put McKenzie in bed and made another bonfire!  It was so relaxing, until out of no-where it started to rain.  And by rain, I mean monsoon!

Sunday, Brian and McKenzie stayed home, while I went to a Bridal shower in new Jersey for one of the sweetest girls I know, Alysha.  She looked absolutely beautiful and was so surprised!
Feeling ready for the week ahead!
Hope everyone had a great weekend!  Here's to a great week!

Missing...

I know I've been absent from this space for quite some time!  A few of you have even mentioned it to me! Life's been busy (as it always is) and lots of amazing things have happened in the time that I've been away.
Truth of the matter is, I haven't felt like writing.  My only free time to write is after McKenzie goes to bed or on my lunch hour, and recently, I've selfishly wanted those moments to myself! I started this blog with the premise that I would only write when I was inspired.  I didn't want it to be a task or a chore to do.
Over the past few weeks, there have been more than their fair share of inspiring moments that I have wanted to blog about.  I will eventually get around to telling you about it all, but in the meantime, I've been taking it all in.  Spending time with this girl...

Capturing the memories in my mind. Working hard to keep them there forever.  When I have a chance, I'll write the memories down here.  But for now, this post will have to do.

Sorry I've been missing!  I'll be back soon!

We're All In This Together!

Today’s post is about an event that happened over a month ago.  I wasn't going to write about it, but then it’s one of those moments that keeps coming back to me.  Every time I think about it, it bothers me more.  It was one of those moments as a Mom that I will never forget, for multiple reasons.  Let me explain…
Brian was out-of-town.  McKenzie and I went to dinner to celebrate my brother-in-law’s birthday.  After dinner, we headed to a local creamery to have ice cream.  After waiting in line for over 30 minutes, we finally had our ice cream and were able to sit down outside at a picnic table.   Thank goodness for McKenzie’s grandfather, who kept her occupied the entire time we waited in line.  You know how patient toddlers can be!
McKenzie made her rounds at the table, taking a little bite of everyone’s ice cream.  Initially, she walked around to everyone for a bite.  Then she sat on the table in front of me for some time.  Eventually, McKenzie scooted to the center of the table, to be the center of attention, naturally!  She stood up on the table, but was surrounded by all of our family.  She wasn't in danger.  She wasn't hurting anyone.  We were at a picnic table outside.
That’s when it started…the judging.   There was another curious toddler nearby, who instantly zoned in on McKenzie.  She was older than McKenzie (maybe 3 or 4) and wanted nothing more than to come over and talk to her.  She kept pointing to her and attempting to walk over.  As she pointed, we could hear the mother say, “Yes, I see her.  I don’t know why she’s standing on the table.  We don’t stand on tables.  I don’t know why her Mommy is letting her.”   OK…that was the start of it.  I understand at some point, I too will be in a position to have to explain some unwanted behavior of another child to McKenzie.  I didn't fault the Mom for this.  It was more of how she was going about it.  Either way, I was ready to let it go!   It didn't really blip my radar.
Then the little girl proceeded to come right over and sit next to me.  The Mom walked over with her.  McKenzie loves other children, so she instantly started waving and smiling, still on top of the table.  As any Mom would do, I talked to the little girl who was now sitting next to me, “Hi there!  How are you?  What’s your name?”  The little girl didn't reply, but I hadn't really expected her to.  This is where a normal mother would have said, “Say my name is… and prompted the little girl.”  I don’t have a problem with you joining our table, but at least be social as a parent.  Even wild animals grunt!  Instead, the woman stood there silent, with a look on her face that I will never forget, still judging me for having my daughter on the table.  I said it again…still nothing.  Still judging.  At this point, I was freaking irritated.  If you’re going to come over, at least be social.  If you think my child is such a heathen and you don’t want to talk, then don’t come over to us.  Right?
Let’s pause the story for a moment before I continue with the epic ending…
Moms, I know that we all don’t raise our children the same.  Some children are allowed to do things that other mother’s wouldn't tolerate.  I get it, but let’s be honest.  We are all in this together.   Some days, if standing on the table is going to buy me 5 more minutes of peace before a meltdown, then so be it.  If she’s safe, it’s OK!  We weren't at a fine dining establishment.  She wasn't standing on the table in the middle of Ruth’s Chris.  She was on a picnic table, which lives outside, which is exposed to the elements…all elements, including seeing other mother’s changing their children’s diapers on these tables.   So was it different from the rules that you have set for your child? Yes.  Will I allow McKenzie to stand on tables when she’s 4 years old? No.  Will I allow it now, while she is still relatively small? Yes.
My point is, stop judging!  We've all been there.  If we haven’t, we’ll all be there at some point! Instead of loudly judging, both with words and facial expressions, give that Mom a smile.  Let her know you know exactly how frazzled, frustrated, overwhelmed, and tired she is.   A smile that says, “I get it.  It’ll be ok.  This too shall pass.”   Whatever you do, don’t judge!  We may all raise our children differently, but we all have the same struggles.  So please, stop judging, because we’re all in this together.
Now the epic ending…
The judging continued and the awkward silence ensued while McKenzie and the little girl waved to one another.  With perfect timing, McKenzie grunted and turned red (you know what that means).  Then, before I could even stop her, she hopped and landed, with a blow-out of epic proportions.   It was only up her back, but definitely visible.  As irritated as I had been with this woman, I was now mortified.   How embarrassing!   Again, we’ve all been there, so laugh at the grossness, smile and say have a good night.  Instead, the woman shrieked, picked her child up and ran away.  I will never forget the look on that woman’s face.  Score 1 for McKenzie for giving “shit” right back to the woman who had been giving us shitty looks all night!  Go Team!

A Letter to my 16 Year-Old Self | 52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose

Dear Sixteen Year Old Megan,
Where do I begin? There are so many things that are going to happen to you in the coming years. There will be a fair share of great moments and a fair share of horrible moments. You will survive all of them and you will be a better person because of it.
Before we get to the future, let's start with where you are:
You've just gotten your license and a new sense of freedom...along with your first car.  A car that no one has ever heard of....oh Eagle Summit!  Although not the dream car you had hoped for, stop being a brat.  You have a car.  You didn't have to buy it.  Don't worry though!  With your excellent driving skills, that car meets its demise quickly and you end up with a different car.

Enjoy the rest of your high school experience. Take it all in. The rest of your time is going to go so quickly. Before you know it, you will be graduating and moving on to college. Stay involved in clubs, committees, honor society's and general high school fun. You will make great friends, have invaluable experiences and set yourself up to get into college.
That Outward Bound trip that you are so nervous to go on. Do it. Push yourself. It will change your life. Yes, 5 days in the great outdoors seems like a lot, but I promise, it will be worth it. You will start out very unsure of yourself, your abilities, and the whole trip in general. By the end of the 5 days, you will be setting up a campsite, cooking on your own and navigating the Potomac to get your group back. You will have time throughout the trip to think about what you are experiencing, to journal, to grow. You will come home a changed person. You will have a new sense of confidence and respect. This will be a huge turning point for you as a person, as well as with some of your relationships. You and your Mom's relationship will get so much better after this trip. She becomes your best friend.
Your senior year, you will be dating a guy - a guy that you think is great, but is wrapped up in the wrong crowd and in things that you don't believe in. You stand your ground. You break up with him, which means you end up not having a date for your Senior Year Homecoming. Although it seems like the end of the world, it's really not. You go with friends and end up having an even better time. This is a pivotal moment, as well. Your best friend tells you that she knows a guy who would be perfect for you! She's going to set you up. That guy is Brian, your future husband. Everything happens for a reason!
Also, that body that you are working so hard to change...stop! It's perfect! Twelve years from now, you will be working hard to get back to your 16-year-old weight! Stop being so hard on yourself and obsessed with image. You will never have 6-pack abs - it's not in your genetic make-up. Be happy with who you are. You are perfect.
In the future, you will lose loved ones and you will lose friends. Know that everything happens for a reason and you are exactly where you should be and doing exactly everything the way you should. Everything is a learning experience. You will make mistakes, but you will learn from them and grow.
You will break-up with Brian throughout your time in college.  Distance makes the heart grow fonder.  You never totally lose touch and always remain friends.  Around your Junior year of college, you return home to visit family and decide to have dinner with Brian.  That date at La Tolteca...a turning point in your relationship.  You start dating again and move in together when you graduate.  You live in that house for a few years, and then buy a new house together.  This is the house that you move in to 2 weeks before you get married.  The craziness!  This is the house that you bring your daughter home.  This is the house that you become a family in.  It will hold great memories.
I'm not sure where life will take you in the future, but know that it's going to be an amazing ride!  Continue to hold true to yourself. Continue to follow your dreams. One day, twelve years from now, you will look around and love the life that you have.
You will learn to live by the motto...everything is okay in the end...if it's not okay, it's not the end. It's true every time.  Remember that.

Love,

                                                                                          ...the one 12 years later

5 on Friday - September Edition Week 3

One.This past weekend was incredible.  Friday night, we had dinner out on the water with McKenzie.  It was a beautiful night and McKenzie was great!

Saturday, we left for the Jason Aldean concert.  We checked in at the hotel, had a drink, went to dinner, tail-gated and then headed in to the concert.  Jason Aldean is great live, the venue was perfect for a cool Fall evening, and my date was hot!  Here's hoping for another great weekend!

Two.The weather has cooled off substantially and McKenzie was able to finally switch over to some of her Fall clothes.  Don't mind the blurry picture, but how cute are these Chevron pants!?

She's really laughing here...although she looks like she's screaming!

Three.Is it just me or is anyone else ready for Fall TV to return?  I don't watch a ton of TV, but there are 3-4 shows that I watch...as in Tivo...because there never seems to be enough time in the day.  I'm especially looking forward to Grey's Anatomy, Modern Family, and The Walking Dead!

Four.I've finally gotten myself together and finalized McKenzie's baby book!  Brian and I both wrote her letters before she was born and decided to carry on the tradition each month for the first year of her life!   I uploaded pictures and the letters to Blurb to create the book.  It's been a year-long process, but I finally finished editing and it's ordered.  Look for an upcoming post for the reveal, once I receive the actual book!

Five.Stood Up!  The impending visit that I have been talking about for two weeks?...Yeah, it didn't happen.   They are now saying maybe next week or the first week in October!  I just want it to be over!

Have a great weekend!