The Thankful Project: Day 15 - An Annoyance

I'm sorry vs. I Apologize...

I recently was greeted by an email when my alarm sounded at 5 a.m.  It was from an employee that was upset and irate with another employee.   She wanted me to be aware.  She wanted me to mediate.
The scheduling worked out and they were both able to meet on the same day.  I sat them down and we discussed the issue and the altercation that occurred in front of fellow staff members the night prior.  I felt as though it was a good discussion and it ended well.  Side note:  I always get nervous when I have to mediate.  I know it's something I need to get over as a manager, but it just doesn't get easier for me.  
There was a phase though that stuck with me throughout the entire meeting.  Each party kept saying, "I apologize...Yea, I know I was wrong...I apologize...I see where you are coming from...I apologize".  Those words stuck with me.  I apologize. 

I found myself wondering if each party was really sorry.  It's easy to say I apologize, but harder to say, I'm sorry.

It made me think about times that I've been wrong and needed to apologize.  Do I do the same thing?  I know that when Brian and I have upset one another, he is infamous for saying, "I'm sorry I made you mad." Let me be clear - that's not an apology.  If I could rewrite the sentence, what I believe he's saying is, "Sorry you're a hormonal, mean, awful woman today and that everything I do upsets you."  It's not an I'm sorry.  Normally, it makes me even more upset.  I'm thankful that this doesn't happen often in our house.

I don't know what made me hone in on this, but it stuck with me.  I will be more cognizant of my word choices.  Besides working hard to avoid circumstances in which I need to apologize, I will work even harder when I do make a mistake - to take ownership for what I've done wrong and to say...I'm sorry.

It means so much more.

I’m linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy for the month of November.
Be sure to stop by and check it out!