Change meet Anxiety. Anxiety meet Change.

I am a creature of habit...even if what I'm doing is no longer a great fit.  I would rather stay in the same place than have to deal with the unknowns that change brings.  It makes me anxious....really anxious.   Like a knot in the back of your throat, am I making the right decision, I wish someone would tell me what to do type of anxious.
I need a change.  I want a change.  It just makes me nervous. I looked to the Internet for quotes of inspiration to help me through this awful feeling.  Here's what I've got:

I always find reasons as to why now is not the time.  I think I've found reasons for the past year.  I've got to stop this vicious cycle.

I've got it great where I am right now.  Flexibility, Autonomy, A Family.  I just need something more.  I feel like I'm not being challenged.  I want a challenge.  ...Hopefully you'll remind me of this in the future!

I am learning to have faith that everything will work out .  If not, I know that there are other opportunities.  Change just makes me so anxious and afraid.

I know everything will happen exactly as it should, but it's different now.  Without a family, I probably wouldn't worry as much, but I have to.  There are people who rely on me.  People that need me.  People that I don't want to let down.
I want something better, but I'm so afraid to go after it.  The grass isn't greener on the other side, but is it better than this?

Shopping for the Holidays

Whether we want to admit it, the holidays are quickly approaching!  With a feisty toddler, I don't have as much time to wander around the mall and leisurely choose gifts for my loved ones.  Much of the shopping that I've done thus far has been online and much of what's left will be purchased online too!
I'm so thankful that I discovered Ebates! What is Ebates??  It's an amazing site that pays you to shop online!  Sound perfect?!  At first, I was completely skeptical.  Almost too good to be true!  I wondered what the catch was or if I was going to be inundated with spam emails. Surprisingly, it's really as easy as it seems.  There's no catch, no fees, and no emails!  It's truly free money for shopping online!
Simply, you go to Ebates each time you choose to shop online and search for the stores that you want to shop from.  There are thousands of stores to choose from - including big name stores such as Target, Sears, Amazon and more!  Each store posts the percentage of sales that you will get back.  You click on the Shop Now link for each store and it redirects you to their site.  That's it!  You shop as you normally would and continue to check out!  A day or so later, you will receive an email from Ebates letting you know how much has been credited to your account.
Plus, you get paid to refer other's to use this site!   From now until December 31, 2013, you will earn $50 for every 2 friends you refer.

So what's better than doing your holiday shopping online!?  It's getting money back for doing so!

Sign Up Today!!  You'd be crazy not to!

5 on Friday - October Edition

Due to my blogging hiatus over the past month, I've missed almost all of the Five on Fridays!  Here I am! Checking in with my October edition of Five on Friday!
One.Have I mentioned how much I love this time of year!? Fall in Maryland is perfect!  The leaves are finally starting to change and I can't wait to capture pictures of the gorgeousness of it all!  Each day, we get closer to this...

Pinterest

Two.Fall also means my favorite fall nail polishes!  Here's my current color:

It's my go-to this time of year and always one of my favorite's - OPI's Oh to be 25 again!

Three.I can't believe that Halloween is this coming week!  I'm so excited that I decided to make her costume and that it turned out perfectly!  I can't wait to see McKenzie in it!  Here's a sneak peek...

Four.Although I may be jumping the gun, after today, there are only 8 more Friday's until Christmas!  Wow!  I've already started shopping and am half-way there!  I refuse to be last-minute this year!

Five.As to not jump the gun completely and skip over Thanksgiving, I'm linking up with Kenzie over at Chasing Happy and participating in her Thankful Project.  I'm excited to take on the challenge of writing every day for 28 days and to share the things that make so very thankful!  Feel free to link up and join along!

Have a great weekend!

Little Ghosts and Goblins Halloween Pajama Party Link-Up

I'm joining Darci from The Good Life Blog and Meredith from The Tichenor Family for a Halloween Pajama Party!
Last year, we were still getting the hang of the parenting thing and were preoccupied with getting prepared for Super Storm Sandy to have any fun around Halloween.  Halloween was actually postponed and rescheduled in our town.   This year, it's a different story!  I'm loving that McKenzie now Oooooh's and Ahhhhh's at the Halloween decorations.  It's going to get better each year from here!  Her Halloween pajama's just make me giggle.  These glow in the dark!
Don't mind the shoes in the next series.  We're still in the phase of loving shoes.  She had just taken a bath before we put on these adorable pajamas and she insisted on wearing her shoes.  Again, they were removed after she was fast asleep!

Pajamas from Carters

Here's your chance to join in the fun!  Can't wait to see how cute all of the little ones are!

Weekend Recap

This weekend was a whirlwind of fun, but I feel as though I need a day to recover!
Saturday started with a The American Heart Association's Heart Walk, bright and early in the morning!  It was for a great cause and lots of fun.  Thank you to all of those who donated to support the walk.

After the Heart Walk, we decided to take McKenzie to a Pumpkin Patch.  Our weekends have been jam-packed with fun recently, so this is the first moment that we had a chance to go!  We knew if we didn't do it then, that by next weekend, there wouldn't be any decent pumpkins left.
We changed it up this year and went to a small little farm.  It was equally as fun and perfect for McKenzie at this age.  She played on a swing set and we took some pictures while waiting for the hay ride out to the pumpkin patch.  She loved the hayride, but was less than thrilled about walking in the pumpkin patch.  She will run all day long around our house, but put her on the ground that has a terrain that's less than flat or firm, and she's lost!  She walks slowly and cautiously and really just wants to be carried!
We found three perfect pumpkins that we plan on decorating this week.  We ended up getting McKenzie a white pumpkin and are going to decorate it as a ghost - since that's what she's going to be for Halloween this year!
It's hard to believe that this was our little baby last year!  So many changes!

We ended the day with a dinner out at one of our favorite restaurants, Border Cafe.  Fajitas for two please!    We got home, put McKenzie in bed and made another bonfire!  It was so relaxing, until out of no-where it started to rain.  And by rain, I mean monsoon!

Sunday, Brian and McKenzie stayed home, while I went to a Bridal shower in new Jersey for one of the sweetest girls I know, Alysha.  She looked absolutely beautiful and was so surprised!
Feeling ready for the week ahead!
Hope everyone had a great weekend!  Here's to a great week!

McKenzie | 17 Months |

Although a little late...I'm still posting!  Enjoy!
17 months old!  Where has the time gone?  It's hard for this Mama to even imagine. You change each day! There's always something new you're doing to keep us on our toes. Here's a little re-cap for us to look back on and remember!
What's Happening:
CousinYou officially have a cousin!  Aunt Erin and Uncle Brian delivered a healthy baby boy and we are over the moon excited for them!  You got to meet Nathan last Saturday and loved him. You gave lots of kisses and kept saying. "Baby!".  You will be a great big sister one day!

So Sweet. P.S. You were playing dress up, so you had a tutu on! Nice outfit choice!

Vocabulary Explosion!Your vocabulary has taken off!  I can't even keep up with all of the words that you say because you mimic everything we say.  Words that you use on your own on a regular basis and that are clear now include: baby, apple, juice, apple juice, Ouch, more, ball, book, Ellie (for your favorite stuffed elephant), shoes, truck, cat, Stop!, Yeah, and No...along with all of the originals - like Mama, Dada, and dog.  It's so much fun to see what word you come up with next!
MimickingSpeaking of mimicking, you copy everything we do.  In the past month, Dad and I have become even more aware of not only what we say, but what we do around you!  You are watching us and learning, even when we don't realize it!   The video below is just one of the moments that Dad and I caught of you copying us.  You were being grumpy in the back seat on a drive home, so we gave you the I-Pod with you favorite Fisher Price learning games on it.  Dad and I continued with our conversation, but could hear you talking in the back seat.  When we stopped talking and turned around to look at you, this is what we saw... My favorite part is where you hold the I-pod out in front of you as if you are wondering why no one is talking back!

Hi... from Heartbeats and Little Feet on Vimeo.

 Favorite ThingThis month marked your first time on a moon bounce.  It was at a birthday party we were attending.  You weren't sure of what to make of it at first, but soon learned how fun they can be!  We went inside for cake and gifts and you were not happy about it!  You were determined to lead us by our hands back out to the moon bounce.  so cute!

EatingYou are still a picky eater.  We normally get one great meal out of you each day.  Other than that, you just snack and nibble throughout.  You seem to always be eating something though, just not always at the specified meal times.  I'm hoping this will get better with age!
Climbing
You are a climbing machine!  You will use anything and anyone to climb up on the sofa! You've pulled toys over, your Pottery Barn Chair, used Dad's legs quite a few times and even the dogs (although we stop you from that!)  A few times, you've even gotten up there by yourself...I think you are hooking your foot in the cushion.  Hilarious!
Bed Time RoutineYou're bedtime routine has changed a bit.  You no longer let me hold you while we say our good night prayers.  You happily climb into bed on your own, point to the blanket and request to be covered up.  Then we hold hands and say prayers while I kneel next to your bed.  It's our favorite time of the day!  I'm sure Dad's excited too!  You would only ever let me be in the room when we put you to bed, but you've started allowing him to join in as well.  It's one of my favorite times of the day now.  Thanking God for everything we have, for our families and friends, and asking him to watch over all of us. Love it!
MoviesLast Friday night was a cold and rainy night.  Dad was working, so it was just you and me. I decided that we would watch Cinderella!  I put the DVD in and you instantly squealed when you saw the Disney castle on the opening credits.  You sat in your Pottery Barn chair, covered up with your blanket and stuffed animal, Ellie!  You watched the movie for a little, but then moved on to playing, while watching.  The whole time, you loved it though!  You would point out Lucifer, the cat, and laughed from your toes when I called you Gus Gus!  I look forward to more cuddly evenings with you!

McKenzie, life just keeps getting better.  There are still days that are far from fun, but even on those days - I am thankful for a healthy little girl who is able to throw such fits!  From working in a hospital, I know that not everyone is as lucky!
Continue to grow, but not so fast!
I love you through and through.  Yesterday, today and tomorrow too.
Love,
Mom

Missing...

I know I've been absent from this space for quite some time!  A few of you have even mentioned it to me! Life's been busy (as it always is) and lots of amazing things have happened in the time that I've been away.
Truth of the matter is, I haven't felt like writing.  My only free time to write is after McKenzie goes to bed or on my lunch hour, and recently, I've selfishly wanted those moments to myself! I started this blog with the premise that I would only write when I was inspired.  I didn't want it to be a task or a chore to do.
Over the past few weeks, there have been more than their fair share of inspiring moments that I have wanted to blog about.  I will eventually get around to telling you about it all, but in the meantime, I've been taking it all in.  Spending time with this girl...

Capturing the memories in my mind. Working hard to keep them there forever.  When I have a chance, I'll write the memories down here.  But for now, this post will have to do.

Sorry I've been missing!  I'll be back soon!